In Grief
by Crazedtroll
Summary: In a moment of grief Caitlin does something extreme. Can the rest of team Flash save the day? Rating due to darker subject matters... Set in my Meta-Tests 'verse but stands on own nicely. Possible Snow/Wells if you want or could just be friendship.
1. Chapter 1

_**Greetings and welcome to another story in my Meta-Tests world. I'm posting this now because it stands alone beautifully. If you've not read any of my others stories in this series you'll be fine. I will warn you, there are mentions of death and suicide. In another note, I still lack a Beta so I apologize for any atrocity committed against the English language. There is a little hint a possible Snow/Wells but it can be read as friendship. I do have a story that follows this one, but it will be independent of the Meta-Tests 'verse as I'm trying to keep relationships out of the 'verse. Please review and let me know what you think. As always, story is complete but will be posted over time. I will change status to "complete" when everything is posted. Not my properties and I make no monies from this...**_

Silently Harrison Wells guided his wheelchair into the cortex, intent on checking in on Dr. Caitlin Snow. They'd had a rough day, with Barry injuring both legs badly enough that Joe had taken the young speedster home to rest for a few days. Cisco had gone along intent on providing entertainment in the form of a DVD marathon. Caitlin had opted to stay in the lab. She'd been staying in the lab by herself a lot lately since Ronnie had died. The young man had sacrificed himself to save them all when a meta-human version of Caitlin had appeared out of the singularity and started wreaking havok. It had been a month, but Harrison knew that grief didn't understand the concept of time.

"Caitlin?" He called out her name as he looked around the empty silent cortex. It was his intent to take her out and try to get her out of her head. "Caitlin?" He spun his chair, stopping to gaze at the computer where she'd been working. Frowning at the screen, he rolled forwards so he could read what was pulled up more easily. After a moment he spun his chair again, pulling his phone out as he did.

"Cisco," answered Cisco Ramon.

"I need you, Barry, and Joe to get to Crystal Falls as fast as you can," Harrison said, guiding his wheelchair through the lab as fast as he could. Pausing, he grabbed something off one of the tables and then kept going.

"Dr. Wells, that's a thirty minute drive," Cisco grumbled.

"I know, but we need to get there, fast. I'll explain when I get there." Without waiting for a response, Harrison hung up the phone, dropping it into the side pocket of his wheelchair. Going as fast as the wheelchair could, Harrison headed for the garage.

Crystal Falls - 20 minutes later

Harrison got out of his car as fast as he could. He'd been planning on doing some exercise at the lab so he had his manual wheelchair. Knowing he could get over more terrain faster in it, he opted to get into it as he exited the van. Looking around, he pushed his wheels as fast as he could towards the stairs which led up to the bridge where tourists could go out and take pictures of the falls. Seeing the stairs, he paused to put on the waist strap on his chair and then kept going. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he spun the chair, leaned back, grabbed as far up the stair rail as he could, and pulled.

At the first landing he paused, struggling to take in air, and scanning the path ahead. "Caitlin!" He yelled her name. She didn't hear him or chose to ignore him. Fighting panic, he started up the next flight of stairs, his arms screaming in pain from the exertion. He'd be paying for the workout in the morning, but if he succeeded, it would be worth it. At the top of the stairs he turned his chair and started across the bridge as fast as he could, calling her name once more, "Caitlin!" He undid the waist strap in between rapid pushes of his wheels.

In the middle of the bridge, Caitlin stood, staring out into the night, tears running down her face. She'd had a rough few months, first trying to cope with the realization that Dr. Wells was bad, then getting to marry Ronnie, then dealing with the changes wrought by the singularity. The singularity itself had been hard enough. They'd lost Eddie, only to regain Dr. Wells when Eddie changed history. Still, it had come at a cost, and the relationship between the group and Dr. Wells had been strained for a few weeks before they had figured everything out. Now, just when things had been starting to look up, she'd lost Ronnie, to none other than herself. The month without him had been too painful, and she didn't want to keep going. She heard the shout as she leaned forwards and let gravity take her.

"Caitlin! No!" Harrison screamed, getting to where she had stood on the bridge a moment too late. Instead of watching her fall, he dragged himself from his wheelchair, and over the railing to plummet after her.


	2. Part 2 - Racing the Wind

_**Okay folks, I'm hoping people are enjoying this. This next part is a little confusing as it switches back and forth between what is happening on land and what is happening as Harrison and Caitlin fall. Each switch is denoted as "Land" or "Air" to let you know where you are. Please let me know if this does or does not work. I'm still working without a Beta so I'm doing my best. Comments always welcomed! - CT.**_

 **Part 2: Racing the Wind**

On Land

Back in the parking lot, Barry, Joe, and Cisco watched in horror as Dr. Wells and Caitlin fell to their almost certain deaths. They'd arrived only moments ago, but it was minutes too late. With his injuries, Barry couldn't do anything but watch in horror as his friends and teammates plummeted towards the rapids so far below the falls.

Air

Harrison did his best to keep his body straight and aerodynamic as he fell, intent on catching up with Caitlin. He was falling so fast it made it hard to breath and focus, but he managed, catching up with Caitlin and wrapping his arms around her. As soon as he'd clicked the belt into place, he deployed the wings of the unit he'd taken from the lab. It was an experimental jet pack Cisco had been working on based on Ray Palmer's tech. With Caitlin strapped to his body and wrapped in his arms, he prayed the wings would deploy and the equipment would work properly.

Land

"He has my jet pack," Cisco said watching as the wings expanded out the side of the backpack.

"Please tell me you got that to work," Barry begged.

"They were working in the lab, but the battery life is really short," Cisco replied, watching as Dr. Wells and Caitlin leveled out as the jet kicked on and Dr. Wells pulled them out of their drop. "Alright Dr. Wells!" Cisco shot a fist triumphantly into the air.

"How short a battery life?" Joe demanded, running to follow the progress of the two jumpers.

"Uhm, five minutes, maybe," Cisco said, realizing that all was not saved. The trio moved as fast as they could, trying to get to their still endangered friends.

Air

In the air, Caitlin sobbed hard as she clung to her rescuer. As she'd fallen, she'd had a moment to think about what she was doing. Terror had overtaken her as she'd dropped until she'd felt the arms wrap around her, enveloping her in a life-saving hug. Now, she held on tightly as they were yanked from their drop, and leveled out to skim along the top of the river.

Land

"Oh man, he can't straighten his legs," Cisco said, watching the two level out, but bob up and down.

"Of course he can't, he's paralyzed," Joe reminded the two younger man. "Is that a problem?"

"They're creating air resistance. That's going to make it harder to steer and drain the battery life faster," Cisco declared. Understanding dawned on the faces of the other two, and they tried to move faster.

Air

Harrison aimed them towards the woods, knowing that his dangling legs were not helping their situation. As he prayed they'd make it to land before crashing, he spoke calmly to Caitlin. "I've got you Caitlin," he reassured her. "Unfortunately, I think we're going to crash. Try to stay relaxed and go with the momentum."

He'd barely gotten the words out when the engine on the unit sputtered and they dropped, impacting hard with the ground. It felt like they bounced several times, Harrison managing to spin them so that he was the one hitting the ground, before they rolled and finally came to a stop. They stayed there, in a heap, groaning, Caitlin on top.

Harrison's vision swum as he gazed up at his employee. "You okay Caitlin?" He managed to undo the strap so that they could separate. Blinking rapidly, Caitlin suddenly pulled away from him, anger painting his face.

"Why did you do that?" Caitlin demanded to know. "What right did you have to do that?"

"Caitlin, believe me, I know what you are feeling. Hurt and angry that he left you here in this world, alone. To make it worse, the world doesn't seem to care that he's gone, almost like he was never here," Harrison said. He tried to prop himself up on his elbow, but near blinding pain in one shoulder made him realize he'd dislocated his right arm.

"I just want the pain to go away! What right did he have to leave me here?" Tears started to fall from her face. Ignoring his pain, Harrison forced himself upright, pulling on a log with his left arm. Painfully he dragged himself to her, and pulled her into a tight hug.

"He did what he did because he loved you and he wanted to protect you." He ignored his pain as she clung to him, sobs shaking her body. "His love for you is what gave him the right to leave you as the price for protecting you."

"I hate him for leaving," Caitlin declared. "And I miss him so much."

"I know," Harrison agreed, rubbing at her back with his uninjured arm. "But he didn't sacrifice himself so you could commit suicide. He sacrificed himself so you could live."

"I don't have anything left of him," Caitlin sobbed, pulling away and wiping at tears.

"Bullshit," Harrison countered, shocking Caitlin's tears away. "He's here." He tapped her chest. "He'll always be here."

"That is so sappy," Caitlin said between sniffles.

"Yes, but you know it's true," Harrison declared. He grimaced as more pain pushed through his adrenaline rush. Still, he held her, hoping that it was helping. With her tears wiped away, Caitlin snuggled back into his chest, liking the feel of his warmth.

"Thank you," she finally said after long moments of silence.

"You're very welcome. We'll have to thank Cisco for his propulsion system," Harrison said, whimpering a little as the pain started to push through his mental barriers.

"Dr. Wells, are you okay?" Pulling away, Caitlin studied him, shocked to see blood running down one side of his face and realizing that his shoulder looked strange. "Your hurt!"

"I'll live, Caitlin," Harrison assured her as she started checking his injuries.

"Your arm is dislocated! Why didn't you say anything?" Her own pain forgotten for the moment, Caitlin checked his eyes.

"Because my pain was only physical and yours was clearly greater than mine," Harrison said. There was a pause as she popped his shoulder back into place, making him cry out in pain. Taking several deep breaths, he tried to force the pain away. "Caitlin, if it means you'll reconsider trying to join Ronnie, it will have been well worth the damage." He gazed at her intently. "You don't have to go through this pain alone. Now, Barry and Cisco may not understand it but they'll be there for you. Detective West and I both know what it is like to lose your spouse." Reaching up with his good arm, he wiped a stray tear away from her eye.

"Where else does it hurt?" Caitlin demanded after putting his arm back into place.

"Hard to say through the adrenaline, " Harrison answered.

"Lay back, I'll check you." He did as she ordered, watching her intently as she quickly checked him for injuries. "We need to get you back to the lab," she declared. She paused as she examined his side. When she gently probed at something, pain screamed up his side and he cried out. A crunching, crashing noise sounded in the woods and they both looked up, wondering what they were about to face.


	3. Part 3 - Aftermath

_**Here's hoping people are still reading this. This part briefly references my series Castles in the Sand which deals with how Harrison and Tess met and their lives together. You don't have to have read it to follow the story though. Still without a Beta and comments still welcomed. Thanks! -CT**_

 **Part 3: Aftermath**

Cisco came crashing into the clearing, followed by Joe and finally Barry. "Dr. Wells, Caitlin," Cisco said, relieved to find them in one piece. "I grabbed the first aid kit from Caitlin's car."

"Good. Thank you Cisco," Caitlin said, standing and taking the bag from him. Kneeling next to Harrison, she opened it and took out a pair of fabric shears, slitting Harrison's shirt up the side.

"Oh my... is that a tree branch?" Cisco asked, going green. Turning away, he rushed to some bushes, vomiting as he reached them.

"Dr. Wells, try not to move," Caitlin ordered as she examined the wound.

"What the hell is that?" Joe asked, coming closer.

"Joe, I need you to come here and help me roll Dr. Wells onto his side," Caitlin demanded. Nodding, Joe came forwards, kneeling next to Caitlin and Dr. Wells. "Okay, on three, we need to roll him up towards us. I'm going to do my best to stabilize this. It must have entered through his back."

Joe looked away when he realized that what he was looking at was a branch that had impaled Dr. Wells from the back, poking out of his abdomen but not enough to tear through the front of his shirt. Caitlin did her best to stabilize what was left of the branch. "Man, Harrison, you never do anything the easy way, do you?" Joe asked his exercise partner.

"Hey, I did the only thing I could think to do. Getting impaled on a branch when we crash landed wasn't part of my plan," Harrison replied. His voice hitched a few times while Caitlin worked, but he struggled to control his expression so he didn't give away how much pain he was experiencing.

"How did you even know I had gotten the flight pack functional?" Cisco asked, returning from his trip to the bush.

"I didn't," Harrison admitted. It earned him a smack to the shoulder from Caitlin. "Ouch! You just popped that one back in place!"

"You jumped off a bridge without knowing that you'd survive it?" Caitlin demanded angrily as she stabilized the stick.

"Hey, I wasn't the one trying to kill myself," Harrison shot back. "All I cared was that I kept you alive. Any risk was well worth it!" He groaned and clutched his injured shoulder.

"Oh, right," Caitlin said, her face colouring. "I'm going to do my best to stabilize you here and then we'll move you out of here and get you to the lab." She went through her kit, pulling out a bag of Lactated Ringer's solution, getting an IV set up and into Dr. Wells. After taping the IV line in place she pulled out a syringe filled with pain medication and seeing it Dr. Wells grasped her hand.

"Caitlin, please, there's something I have to tell you," he said, his eyes serious. The others in the group leaned in, wondering what was so important. Seeing he had everyone's attention, Dr. Wells took the plunge, "I'm a drug weenie."

A snort found its way past Joe's lips, and he clamped his free hand over his mouth. Harrison shot a glare in the detective's direction. "I'm not joking. I'm an ultra rapid metabolizer for most pain killers. I get high as a kite and act like a fool. I broke my leg when Tess and I were dating… to this day I can't remember most of the first week after it happened. Apparently I proposed to my 220 pound muscled landlord because he brought me dinner one night."

This time a full blown laugh forced past Joe's lips, but it was joined by Cisco and Barry also laughing. Harrison looked completely embarrassed about it, but Caitlin's face softened. "No medicine, please," Harrison begged.

"This is going to hurt a lot," Caitlin pointed out.

"I survived recovering from the accelerator explosion without any pain meds, I'll survive this," Harrison assured her. Nodding her understand, Caitlin put the medicine away.

"Barry, can you come hold the IV bag and carry it while we take Dr. Wells through the woods?" Caitlin asked, knowing that the speedster was barely walking under his own power so he couldn't help carry her paraplegic boss.

"Sure," Barry said, coming over and taking the bag she'd been holding.

"Joe, can you help me lift Dr. Wells and then carry him back up to the cars?" The Detective nodded, his mirth fading with the seriousness of the situation.

"What do I do?" Cisco asked, trying not to sound petulant.

"Run ahead of us. Get the vehicle you think will be the best to transport Dr. Wells back to the lab ready," Caitlin said. Nodding, Cisco started to leave.

"If you could find my wheelchair I'd appreciate it!" Harrison called after the engineer. "Bad move. Shouldn't yell," Harrison then mumbled to himself as he paled in pain.

"Okay, now, Dr. Wells, we're going to sit you upright when I count to three. It will hurt. I'm sorry," Caitlin told her patient. He nodded, biting down on his lip. "One," Caitlin looked to Joe, "two," Joe nodded, "three." They sat him up, and then moved to standing in one smooth move. Harrison held his scream in by biting his lip. Barry made sure the IV didn't pull out, holding the bag above the wrist where Caitlin had inserted the needle.

"Damn man, you didn't even scream," Joe observed. Now that they were standing, Harrison was taking deep breaths, trying to force the pain away.

"Okay, now, we're going to move carefully," Caitlin said. They started forwards, pausing when Harrison seemed to pull back. "Hang on, I think we're caught on something," Caitlin said. She looked down.

"Have my legs locked up?" Harrison asked, seeing her frown at his legs. Caitlin nodded, studying the legs which had stiffened up and caught on some weeds. "Lean me back a little. Usually putting pressure on them breaks the spasm." Following his instructions, they got the leg muscles to relax and started forwards again.

They hadn't gotten very far when Harrison spoke up. "I'm gonna puke," he declared. Stopping, they tried to lean him forwards so he wouldn't puke all over himself. With each heave, he cried out in pain. After a minute he seemed to finish, taking deep breaths. "Okay," he finally said. They started moving again, making slow but steady progress.

By the time they reached the parking lot, Cisco was waiting by the lab van he, Joe and Barry had brought along. Dr. Wells's wheelchair was already loaded carefully into the back. The engine was running and seeing his friends, Cisco ran forwards, intent on helping. "I'll get his legs," Cisco declared. They slowed so he could do just that and together they loaded the injured man into the back of the van.


	4. Chapter 4 - Back at the Lab

**Part 4: Back at the Lab**

When they arrived at the lab, Harrison had passed out. Caitlin had kept a close watch over her patient. They helped unload the unconscious man and rush him down to the cortex, where Caitlin got to work on removing the chunk of wood and cleaning the wound. Cisco changed the IV bag out once while she worked. Barry dozed off in a chair and Joe watched, worried about Caitlin and her patient.

When Caitlin walked away from the hospital bed, the three waiting men stood. "Well?" Cisco asked. Returning to her patient, Caitlin tucked a blanket around him and pulled the railings up on the bed. Sighing, she disposed of her dirty gloves, and shook her head.

"He's stable, but he's going to be hurting for a few days," Caitlin said. "I'm going to stay the night and watch over him. There shouldn't be any problems, but I'm monitoring his vitals. I can set up an alarm to go off if anything changes."

"Do you want us to stay?" Barry asked. Caitlin shook her head.

"You need to get home and rest," Caitlin replied. "You guys go home." Nodding, Cisco and Barry stood, both pausing to pat Caitlin on the shoulder as they passed her. Joe, however stood silent for a moment. "Joe, go home. I'll be fine."

"Caitlin, no offense, but you jumped off a bridge tonight," Joe reminded her. "We're here for you, but we can't help if you don't let us."

"I know," Caitlin agreed with a nod. "Knowing that there are people here willing to die for me, makes a big difference. I promise, the only thing I'm doing for a while will be taking care of Dr. Wells."

"Okay. Call us if you need us," Joe lectured her. Sighing, he left to follow his foster son and Cisco.

Holding in a dejected sob, Caitlin hugged herself, trying to figure out what the hell she'd been thinking. Shaking her head, she checked her patient one more time before heading to one of the sleep rooms. It didn't take her long to fall asleep. It took her even less time to start having nightmares. They were about Ronnie, they were always about Ronnie.

She woke to an alarm. It took her nightmare addled mind a moment to realize it was the alarm for Dr. Wells's vitals. Jumping out of the bed, she raced from the little sleep room and into the cortex. She tried to stop and ended up sliding across the floor in her sock clad feet to come to a sudden halt next to the hospital bed. To her shock, her patient grabbed her hand.

"Caitlin, are you okay?" Harrison demanded. He tried to pull himself upright only to have Caitlin push him back down. "You were screaming." Concern painted his face and filled his eyes.

"I was screaming?" Caitlin couldn't think over the sound of the alarms. Shaking her head, she turned the alarm off, wondering why it was showing Dr. Wells's heartbeat as a flat line.

"Yes. I tried shouting for you, but I doubt you could hear me over your own screams." He squeezed her hand. "When that didn't work I pulled off the heart monitor leads."

Lifting the wires, Caitlin stared at the disconnected leads and back to her boss. "You pulled the leads off so the alarms would wake me from my nightmare?"

"Sorry," Harrison apologized. Re-attaching the leads, Caitlin sighed. "Want to talk about it?" He rubbed his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand.

"No." She uttered the word on reflex, but seeing the look on his face, she sighed. "Fine. I dreamed about Ronnie dying again." He gave her another look. "And again, and again."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"No. But thanks." Smiling gently at him, Caitlin started for the exit, flicking off the lights as she passed the switches. In the darkness, her nightmare came back to her, and she felt her body starting to shake in fear. Turning on her heal, she went back into the room, standing by the bed.

"What's wrong?" Dr. Wells asked seeing her returning to his side. Squeezing her hands together, Caitlin decided to take the plunge.

"My nightmare came back. I was wondering if you'd be willing to let me… join you? Just for physical comfort." She tried not to let him see the fear in her eyes, but his own naked eyes, she'd put his wire-framed glasses on a table, seemed to see everything.

"Of course. I might need a bit of help making room for you," Harrison declared, trying to shift over. Smiling, Caitlin put the arms down on the right side of the bed, helping her patient scoot over. Once she thought there was enough room, she climbed into the bed, pulling the railing back up. She'd intentionally climbed in next to his uninjured side.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Caitlin asked. Dr. Wells managed to roll onto his side, facing her.

"Positive." He smiled gently at her, and swiped at her nose. "Now get some sleep." Smiling, for the first time since Ronnie had died, Caitlin turned so that they were spooning. She made certain they were both covered with the blanket and sighed. Taking several deep breaths, she waited for the nightmare to return, but as Harrison's scent surrounded her, the nightmare faded. She wanted to feel bad for taking comfort in another man, but she didn't. Ronnie would have understood. One of the last things he'd told her was that her safety and happiness were all that mattered to him. Right now, Harrison seemed to be chasing her depression away, simply by caring for her enough to sacrifice himself and his bed. Deciding that Ronnie would forgive her, she reveled in Harrison's warmth and drifted off to sleep, the grief still there, but not as overpowering.

 _ **This concludes this story. I know it does not really progress the underlying story I have in the other stories in the Meta-Tests 'verse, but I wanted to write something to explain Ronnie being missing. I'm sorry I killed him off but honestly, I have no idea how to write him. Also, I feel that if Killer Frost were to rear her frigid head Ronnie would do anything to protect his wife. There is a follow up story to this one. It is strictly shipfic fluff and draws from the past I have established for Harrison in Castles in the Sand (which I swear I will write and post more chapters for eventually!). It does not really do much for the Meta-Tests 'verse plots so needn't be published as part of them. If you're interested in the story let me know. If there is enough interest I will post it. Warning though, it is Snow/Wells silliness/seriousness. Thanks for joining me on this little adventure! As always, comments welcomed! -CT**_

 _ **P.S. Sorry this posted incorrectly the first time I tried to publish. FFN doesn't like any of the programs I write in so I have to copy and paste which doesn't always work. It will look correct to me, but then doesn't publish correctly. Thanks to BumbleBee'sGuardian for letting me know it didn't work right the first time!**_

 _ **Big thanks also to Scoobyice8 for the informative and helpful feedback.**_


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